Tretakoff Musings
The Big Tuna: The Drama Continues

The Bill Parcells soap opera continues this week, and not for the reasons you might expect. Sure, three coaches in the NFL have just been axed, and more are likely to follow, and normally when you hear about coaching opportunities, a huge shadow looms over each: Parcells (although the other Bill, Cowher, is starting to compete). The latest drama is on his success with the Miami Dolphins as the head of football operations. Turns out, his contract is unique in that
if the owner sells the team, he can walk away, and be fully paid for his whole contract. So, the hand wringing begins: will he stay or won't he?
This is a guy who twice put his hall of fame election on hold by refusing to stay unretired and come out to restore respectability to a franchise, so who's to say he won't again? He's had the magic touch, both as a coach and an executive, for now five major NFL franchises. He brought the New York Giants two Superbowl rings. He brought the Patriots to a Superbowl. He brought the Jets to the AFC Championship. He restored a winning tradition in Dallas, and brought them back to the playoffs. And now, in Miami, he has completed a 1-season turnaround that is unheard of, going from worst team to the playoffs in a single season.
And yet, every one of those teams he brought success to lived with the drama of Parcells. He accepted the job with the Jets the day before he coached their arch-enemy,the Patriots, in the Superbowl...and let the media know. Think that was a distraction? He jilted the Buccaneers so many times in the 90's while with the Giants, they had to enlist in self-help programs. He flirted so blatantly with the Cowboys, it made reality TV look tame by comparison.
Y'know, I've actually accidentally become a Parcells observer. I attended Superbowl XXV, where Parcells won his Superbowl ring. I lived in New England in the early '90's, watching him take over the local Patriots and change them from a laughingstock to the building blocks of the dynasty they became. I watched him ressurect Vinny Testaverde with the Jets. And
suffered horribly when he came to put his stamp on my beloved Cowboys. What he has accomplished in Miami, though, is truly amazing: taking over a historically bad team, hiring a first-time head coach (his line coach from the Cowboys), changing 2/3 of the team to "Parcells guys," and then just going and playing in one of the most competitive divisions in football (the Pats went 11-5, playing in the same division, and couldn't make the playoffs it was so tough), only to win it?
Most people eat crow in this situation. I may be heading for a Tuna sandwich.
So, saddle up and ride: we're in a for a long offseason of "what will he do?" Will Parcells grab the reigns of the legendary
Silver and Black to finally return them to their commitment to excellence? Or will he stay in
South Florida, to continue his ressurection? Or will he be the prodigal son, returning to the Big Apple to take over
Gang Green?
Stay tuned...

Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football, news, sports
An Embarrassment Of Riches

Yesterday, as I sat in the House Of Blues in Las Vegas, I almost choked on my sandwich. The TV above the bar reported that my beloved Dallas Cowboys had
two major developments: Adam "Pacman" Jones was suspended again by the NFL for a recent altercation in a men's room. That one, I had no issues with; Pacman, despite his once great talent, is a trouble magnet, and he simply should have known better than to get in any altercation, misunderstood or otherwise. Sure, it's unfortunate that the secondary lost a proven talent, and, combined with the injury to Terrence Newman, will be a tough loss. No, it was the second headline that got me:
Roy Williams, one of Detroit's famous three straight top WR draft picks, was coming to the Cowboys, in return for multiple draft picks, including a first round pick next year.
How does this make any sense? The Cowboys already have T.O., who is clearly one of the NFL's top receivers. He has recently been starting to pull his frustrated routine, which wore out his welcome at two other teams. They also have a bona fide emerging star in Miles Austin, who benefitted from the increased reps earlier in the season as Patrick Crayton and Sam Hurd went down with injuries. And Crayton is a solid receiver who doesn't make mistakes. Add to that they have the top receiving tight end in football, Jason Witten; a project speedster in Isaiah Stanback; a guy who they drafter to catch passes AND run in Felix Jones; and Marion Barber, their star running back, who showed what happens when he gets in the passing game last week.
My question is, with all of this catching talent, how, even with a healthy Tony Romo, are there enough balls to throw? This is a team that is built to win the Superbowl, this year; yes, their high powered offense has struggled a bit in the last few games, but adding another WR? Folks, the problems are not on the offensive side of the field; it's the defense and special teams! Where is the star defensive tackle to put pressure in the middle? Where is the stellar CB to defend those deep balls that Pacman wasn't even up to, and Newman will struggle to get back to form on?
Now, I know some will say that this a great opportunity to get a squandered talent to insure against the aging T.O., but this cannot look like anything but a high price to pay for a puzzler that may (may!) pay off, 1-2 years from now. Jerry Jones, you have always been a gambler, but this is an Al Davis move, not one of your savvy ones. If a trade was to be had, it should have been for a top CB, in my opinion, to shut down that deep pass option that other offenses are throwing so often, or an enforcer to lay serious hits like the other Roy Williams used to do, stopping teams from running those slants.
Jerry, remember: offense gets people in the seats, and I know you have a lot to fill with the new stadium next season, but defense wins championships. Ask the New England Patriots last year how they feel about having one of the top offenses of all times...and an 18-1 record. Remember, in the Superbowl, the Pats offense had done everything they were supposed to, but they were on the sidelines as the Giants tore through their defense to ruin the undefeated season.
Let's start the betting pool now on how soon before T.O. starts doing
pushups in his Dallas driveway.

Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football
Sweet Team Spirit
With the Olympics looming large, there's been a lot of discussion on my daily ferry commute about the rise of China in the international stage, and, of course, the debate if the USA has already gone past it's nadir as the pre-eminent international power. In other words, has the USA already begun its decline, like the great empires before it? Many factors lead to this possibility, primarily the lack of investment in a manufacturing base: when a society becomes so wealthy that they find it less expensive to send work to another country, or to employ illegal aliens, no matter how trivial or important the work, I maintain that it is officially on the decline.
As part of this exercise, we look at key indicators that might represent the telltale signs of when the USA "jumped the shark." For the Roman empire, it might have been the gladiatorial games and vomitoriums; the British empire saw the East India Company become it's de facto ambassador to the world. What might the USA have to offer? Well, you could argue
Madonna's new video, watching her re-embrace her more sexually liberated self as she gyrates alongside Justin Timberlake (
does this guy love cougars, or what? Janet Jackson AND Madge?) might qualify. Or, you might take a more serious note and find that the manufactured war of Iraq might be a key indicator; it's about as obvious as Madonna.
Me, I like to look at more subtle things. Exhibit A: you can now buy M & M's with your favorite baseball team's logo on it. Not just the logo, mind you: the M & M's are your team's colors, and there are three variations of the logo imprinted in delectable M & M sugary goodness. What's the part that makes me convinced this harbinger of our international descent is here? My first thought on seeing this was "Wow, if they only had the NFL teams and Dallas Cowboys ones, $269.95 isn't a bad deal for a 10 lb. Box."
My fellow Americans, I have seen the road to ruin, and it is paved with M & M's. For those who want a smaller taste of the decline, $13 will get you a palatable 7 oz. portion. I'm off to weep at my own moral decay.
Labels: 80's, Dallas Cowboys, ferry, fun, gifts, music, Politics, silly
The Image of America's Team
I have written several times
about sports uniforms, and in particular, football uniforms. However, no one holds a candle to the
UniWatch blog for the obsessive detail of this esoteric subject, but if you are the kind of person who wants to know what is up with the Redskins having a different helmet for home games, or why do some baseball teams wear vests, while others seem to have completely different outfits, UniWatch is for you.

Now, Paul Lukas, Mr. UniWatch himself, has
turned his full attention on my beloved Cowboys, and the results are not pretty. From exposing the three shades of silver, as well as the two shades of blue, America's Team goes under the UniWatch microscope, warts and all. There are some fascinating tidbits, including the reason the Cowboys wear white at home (most teams wear colors at home), the strange alterations the Cowboys uniforms have uniquely had (tie down panels? wraparound collars?), and even the time the Cowboys altered their uniforms for the Bicentennial.
Even if you are not a 'Boys fan, it's a fascinating read, if only to see what OCD looks like in print. :-) I'll be rooting for them against Philly, mismatched silver and blues and all.
Labels: blogs, Dallas Cowboys, sports
Decrypting the NFL

Just a
quick link to a website that shows all of the NFL games every week, and what markets will see what games. After last week's trek to Petaluma to take in the Dallas-New England Armageddon, I definitely have a new appreciation for A) good sports bars with good food, friendly service and fun (not Raider-like) fans; B) the value of DirecTV's Sunday Ticket; and C)the frustration of the fan who can't figure out what game is on where.
Now, where will I watch my Cowboys bounce back against the Vikings?
Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football, TV
Tretakoff vs. Tretakoff


Yep, today's the big game. My beloved and undefeated Dallas Cowboys play host to my hometown (and also undefeated) New England Patriots. Tom Brady vs. Tony Romo. Randy Moss vs. Terrell Owens. Jerry Jones vs. Robert Kraft. All amazing matchups, but none compares to the biggest blood feud: Amy vs. Me. Yep, my wife has blossomed into a full out Pats fan, and we're going to the nearest sports bar to watch the battle unfold. Why? In the Bay Area, the biggest game of the season thus far is trumped by the Raiders vs. the Chargers.
As part of NBC's whopping
$3.6 billion dollar contract with the NFL for Sunday Night Football, NBC wisely got a concession out of the NFL:
"flex" scheduling to allow them to select the best game for the Sunday Night national audience. So why are we not enjoying the "Highlander" (
"There can be only one") game in the comfort of our own home? Alas, flex scheduling does not start for 6 more weeks. NBC has to be grinding their teeth at this, while bar owners and DirecTV Sunday Ticket customers must be gleefully chortling at their good fortune.

So, tomorrow at 1, feel free to watch that ticker for the updates. While the Boys leads the series against the Pats (7-1, since 1971), opinions are divided on the outcome here. New England clearly is loaded on offense, and has a big chip on their shoulder this season, after losing last year's AFC Championship game to their arch-rivals, the eventual Superbowl champion Colts, and being accused of cheating in the first week of this season. Dallas has the #2 offense in the league, and Romo has proven he's a genuine star, but his 5 interception performance last Monday night has to have him rattled. Dallas is clearly primed for the upset, but ESPN put the game through
Madden 08 simulations, and predicts Brady comes through in Big D.
In any case, at the end of the night, one team will no longer be undefeated, and this may indeed be a preview of the Superbowl...or a divorce. :-)
All I have to say is...How 'bout them Cowboys?Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football, TV, Video Games
Our Long National Nightmare Is Over

It came to me in a flash across the screen in a tony eatery in Old Town Scottsdale, Arizona, today. Finally, the day I had dreamed of,
since blogging about it two years ago, this month:
Bill Parcells resigns as the coach of the Dallas Cowboys.We have all endured a terrible ordeal. Now, with this episode behind us, let the healing begin.
Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football
Been waiting all week for Saturday night
Live blogging my Dallas Cowboys, back in the playoffs...finally! This game comes down to the talent of Romo and Julius Jones against a team with heart, the Seattle Seahawks.
In the 1st quarter, both teams look sloppy. Romo is throwing too low, and the defenses are setting the tone. Need a big play.
Q2: C'mon, Romo. More low throws. He scrambled; that's when you need magic!
Q2: Penalties! What the hell, Boys? You aren't the Raiders!
Q2: Madden is right. Romo needs to settle down. He's dangerous when he scrambles, but he's throwing erratically. Where's that poise he got to the Pro Bowl with?

Q2: I've never been a Parcells fan, but nice to see him fired up. About time.
Q2: Goddam Owens. Most overpaid asshole in the game. Drops, drops, drops. Earn that pay.
Q2: TOUCHDOWN! That's the Romo I've been waiting for!
Q3: More penalties, and the Hawks are looking much sharper. Don't let them back in...
Q3: Seahawks TD. Good Seattle drive. They definitely are much more focused.

Q3: Miles Austin, my new hero. TOUCHDOWN, Cowboys. Great kickoff runback, for a TD. Yeah!
Q4: Great tip and pick by Newman to Roy Williams. Now, they need to build on this.
Q4: Jones finally getting on track. Boys settle for a field goal, though. A TD would have put it away. Still only 1 score separates these 2.
Q4: Another huge penalty, with Newman mugging the receiver. Frustration, clearly, with Hasselbeck picking them apart. 4th down, on the goalline...and the Hawks turn it over!
Q4: Whoa! What the hell? An insane play: pass to Glenn, fumbled, ball in the endzone, ball goes out, but flipped back in...and a safety! What a wild play.
Q4: Seahawks with a great pass. TD. Seahawks take the lead, but fail on the 2 pt conversion. 21-20, Seahawks.

Q4: Less than 2 minutes left, the Boys are near the goalline...4th down...Field goal snap is fumbled! Romo runs...but stopped. Oh NO.
Q4: Hail Mary. 1 play left...Romo throws...incomplete. Seahawks win. The Cowboys season is over. Unreal.

Sigh. What looked like a great win becomes a loss. The Dallas Cowboys of 2006: snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football
How 'Bout them Marin Cowboys?
Hey, I'm not saying I'm ready for Canton, or even Vegas, but I'm proud to say that this year's Loyalty Lab Fantasy Football season came to a pretty satisfying conclusion:

Yep, after finishing close to the top the last two seasons, this year the Superbowl was mine. Maybe it was the incentive of having $250 on the line, or maybe I, like my 'Boys, was finally desperate enough for a winning season, but most likely it was a combination of my competition and luck. Want proof? The 3rd place winner, the Exurbanites, was a member who hadn't touched his team since his draft. In the end, it came down to Loyalty Lab's two Russians, and
this one came out on top.My powerhouse players this season were
Peyton Manning of the Colts (at least he can win a championship in fantasy football),
Maurice Jones-Drew of the Jaguars (who? Wasn't Fred Taylor supposed to be the top back?),
Marion Barber III of the Cowboys (all he does is score touchdowns), and the sleeper of
Marques Colston of the Saints (who was inexplicably listed as a TE/WR, giving me a very strong advantage over most tight ends), it was an 11-2 season. As usual, Cobra Kai, in the form of Ted O'Hanlon, gave me my usual run for the money (we split the meetings this season), and Candice Coder showed her 2nd year experience for my other loss, but it was Ken Sogomonov who was my real competition this season. Great season overall.
To celebrate the win, I asked the other players to forgo payment to me, and instead donate their $25 to the
James Kim Memorial Fund, in support of the Kim family after the tragic loss of James, whom I have blogged about. If you'd like to pay kudos to either James Kim's life, the Kim families' coping with their ordeal and James' loss, or my fantasy football prowess, please feel free to head over and make a quick PayPal donation to the Kim family, as well.
Now, if Bill Parcells and Jerry Jones just listen to me, the Lombardi trophy is rightfully headed back to Dallas! And of course,
all I have to say is...Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football, Loyalty Lab
How 'Bout The Cowboys?

Just
had to point out that the last undefeated team in the NFL
fell to none other than my Dallas Cowboys today, as Tony Romo continues his Cinderella season, upstaging the 2 time MVP, Peyton Manning, in a shootout. Yes, the 'Boys are finally 2 games over .500, but, with their schedule, there's a good chance they are headed back to the playoffs.
Which reminds me: if you have not been watching
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, you should be: great Aaron Sorkin writing, good chemistry among the cast, and Matthew Perry continues to shine. Why do I mention it? In an episode earlier this season, Ed Asner makes the statement, "If you want her to cook the dinner, you have to let her buy the groceries." When asked by Amanda Peet who said that, Steven Weber replies:
"Bill Parcells.
"Who's he?" asks Peet.
"He's a football coach who hasn't won a playoff game in 9 years."
Makes you think of the Cowboys coach in a whole different way. Well, here's to the hopeful end of the drought!
Labels: Dallas Cowboys, football, Studio 60